The future was a thing that gleamed, the present was so very very good

I have this feeling like i’m frozen. I’m so incredibly cold, in my body, in my heart, in my mind, in my soul.
I don’t feel like i’ll ever reach warmth again.
But then again, when have i ever felt truly ‘warm’ .
I don’t want these petty fights anymore, i don’t want these long days of no talking, i don’t want any trouble.
I just want to live my life, the way i want it.
Understanding. Forgiveness. Friendship. Love.
The four things i crave right now.

CANDY.

“Once upon a time, there was a Candy and Dan…Things were very hot that year… All the wax was melting on the trees… He would crawl on balconies, climb everywhere. Do anything for her… My Danny boy. Thousands of birds. The tiniest birds adorned her hair… Everything was golden… One night the bed caught fire… He was handsome, and a very good criminal… We lived on sunlight and chocolate bars… It was the afternoon of extravagant delight… Danny, the Daredevil… Candy the blessing… The day’s last rays of sunshine cruise like sharks…”I wanna try it your way this time!” You came into my life really fast, and I liked it. We squelched in the mud of our joy. I was wet thighed with the surrender… Then there was a gap in things… And the whole earth tilted… This is the business. This is what we’re after. With you inside me… Comes the night…”

HEAVEN
EARTH
HELL

As you can tell i watched a movie called Candy tonight.
Whilst watching this movie, trouble was also getting stirred.
And it inspired me, to be mellow and just let things roll by.
I’m sick of planning life, i just want to sit back and watch it.
And you know what, thats exactly what i’m going to do.
I’m sick of talking about school, i’m sick of my family fighting and i’m sick of having this headache.
This headache of constant worry, just go away.

“Here is the deepest secret nobody knows. Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide. And this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart… I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart.”

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