Archive for June, 2010

Admiration.
June 26, 2010

I wish i had to courage to tell you how much i miss you, instead of just joking around.

I miss you more than anything.
Remember when we used to go to the football every Saturday together?
Remember when you lost your best friend, and i lost mine. How lost we were together?
Remember when you stayed in the tent with me after my first kiss?
Remember when we used to make up those plays on Nan’s Birthday?
Remember when we went to Steve Irwin’s zoo and you fainted?
Remember when i stayed home after my toe operation and we made that video?
Remember when ___ had her mental breakdown, how hard that was for us to see?
Remember when we talked to ghosts, when it worked?
Remember when we used the baby monitor to spy on our brothers?
Remember when you used to steal from me?
Remember Nan Wearne’s funeral?
Remember the Wog’s next door to our unit?
Remember SD at lobsters creek?
Remember staying at my house after your parents split up?
Remember when you told me about your sadness?
Remember when i told you about my siblings sadness?
Remember spotlight games at your house?
Remember all your dress up party’s and how you always invited me?
Remember  last year at camping, how it was perfection?
Remember when you threw my baby born on the ground? That was our first and only fight.
Remember when i fell off that ledge and hit my head when we were taking photos?
Remember ice-creams after tea at camping?
Remember scrap booking with Katelyn?
Remember when you had cross country and ran past my primary school?
Remember the Chocolate man playing football?
Remember how i always called you dog German because i couldn’t say Jarman?
Remember how badly your newer best friend treated you? How it upsetted me?
Remember when i was a MySpace whiz and i always had to fix your page up?
Remember Barbie Supersports?
Remember Cat and Mouse, The Mole and Rocky, one, two, three games?
Remember sneaking to the Dinosaur park when we were little and at the football?
Remember sitting at the skate park and me being obsessed with LS?
Remember when my dad ran into the glass door? Haha.
Remember when Aleisha used to ride Pussy?
Remember Nan ‘Frog’?
Remember Sammy Louise Chamberlain, Brown, Johns, Pearce, Lawson?
Remember those really bad home videos where i am an alien? Meep, meep.

Diary Entries:
27-11-04
Tonight i am going to Julie Johns birthday party, last year was so funny this girl called Skye was there. She sang ‘Hello World’ by the Saddle Club and it was so squeaky and she actually thinks she is a good singer?
I hope she doesn’t come tonight!

16-12-05
I want this entry to be special cause i want to look back at it in 10 years time. Chelsea, Emily, Saxon, Becky, Ellie J, Lily, Rachael, Stacy are my best friends. But no one is better than my cousin Renae, we have the best times together.

26-2-06
Today i went to the festival in the park with Renae, Katelyn and Brooke. I watched the Idol competition and we got Amalia’s signature even though she is not even that important.

11-3-06
I am at Bannon’s park,
we are camping here with the John’s and Nae’s family. It’s so much fun! Today Renae’s friend Jess came over we went on an adventure and i fell down a hill, Renae was crying because she was so scared that i would get hurt. We also went to Tal’s house to brush our teeth and other stuff.

22-8-06
I saw Renae today, she is so great. She is my best friend, but she is also my cousin so i don’t think that works? lol. I wish she lived with me, oh it would be cool if she was my sister and then i could borrow her things all the time. I wish i had a room like her and lots of animals like her. She is so lucky.

There is sooooo many more, but i’m too lazy.
We have been through a lot together.
You’ve made me laugh, cry, smile and most of all made me happy.
Your not my cousin, your my long lost sister.
It doesn’t matter how much or less i see you nae.
Because your always going to be my favourite.
Your fam’ily’, nothing will ever tear us apart.
I will never forget how big an impact you have had on me.
Always, x

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Froze by desire.
June 26, 2010

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Tonight, whilst standing in the freezing cold at a best friends house.
I believe i saw a solar eclipse.
It was beauty, beauty for my eyes.

Realised four things tonight:

  1. How much i miss my best friend Ben, he told me somethings tonight. Made me realise how little i have been there for him lately. I’m sorry.
  2. How great my boyfriend is at party’s with me. I have full trust in him, makes me feel so great about myself. He is an adorable drunk. I love you.
  3. How nice original chips really are, i swear i ate a whole bowl full.
  4. How much i take bed for granted, right now it is my Saviour although my feet are throbbing from heels i am so comfy.

What would you do in this situation. See a guy you know, he’s your friend, dancing with a girl but not just dancing more grinding her like she is a metal pole. Watch him for a little while, but you are getting distracted a lot from your boyfriend so you are unsure whether or not they hooked up. Approach him a while later and say. “You better be being a good boy for ________” and he says “Oh don’t worry i am, i swear i haven’t even touched another girl all night.” Why lie? So now do i tell the girl he is ‘tuning’ ,on the verge of going out who is also one of my close friends, or do i let it drop, let the situation sort itself out?
I am so confused, maybe it meant nothing?

All of us are up against something.
June 25, 2010

Erin Gruwell: Maybe we should talk about art. Tito’s got real talent, don’t you think? You know something? I saw a picture just like this once, in a museum. Only it wasn’t a black man, it was a jewish man. And instead of the big lips he had a really big nose, like a rat’s nose. But he wasn’t just one particular jewish man. This was a drawing of all jews. And these drawings were put in the newspapers by the most famous gang in history. You think you know all about gangs? You’re amateurs. This gang will put you all to shame. And they started out poor and angry and everybody looked down on them. Until one man decided to give them some pride, an identity… and somebody to blame. You take over neighborhoods? That’s nothing compared to them. They took over countries. You want to know how? They just wiped out everybody else. Yeah, they wiped out everybody they didn’t like and everybody they blamed for their life being hard. And one of the ways they did it was by doing this: see, they print pictures like this in the newspapers, jewish people with big, long noses… blacks with big, fat lips. They’d also published scientific evidence that proved that jews and blacks were the lowest form of human species. Jews and blacks were more like animals. And because they were just like animals it didn’t matter if they lived or died. In fact, life would be a whole lot better if they were all dead. That’s how a holocaust happens. And that’s what you all think of each other.

Freedoms Writers.
The most amazing, beautiful, true story of teenagers with a second chance, hope.
I was given the book to read, i loved it instantly.
I thought it was about time i seen the movie.
Cried about three times in total, ha.
Unity, Pride, Love, Companionship,
Admiration, Difference.
Let’s just say, i was fucking inspired.
If you haven’t seen it, watch it.
If you haven’t read it, read it.
Pure amazing.

Today was a shocking day.
I hate it how if i did that to you i would never hear the end of it.
People think they can just push me around.
I’m vulnerable i know.
But that doesn’t give you the right to treat me the way you’d do.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

These bones don’t belong to me.
June 25, 2010

One day a man was walking his dog along the beach after a storm. The tide had washed thousands of starfish onto the beach. They were still alive, but only just. A woman was making her way along the shore, throwing starfish into the sea, one by one.

“Hey, ” the man called out. “there are thousands of starfish on the beach. You’re not going to make a blind bit of difference!”

The woman stooped, picked up a starfish and threw it back into the sea. Then she smiled at the man and said, “Made a difference to that one!”

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I can read.
June 23, 2010

Yet another day of no tolerance.
Sorry dear friend.
I am becoming obsessed with the Wii, i always thought it was shit.
My judgement was wrong.
I am one lucky girl, i have everything i need.
I am starting to see that.
I would like the day my trust in humanity comes, to show itself.
The world lies, all day, everyday.
Trust is an utter lie.
Therefore i am my own friend, lover, diary.

Trying is lying.
June 23, 2010

– Tilt screen,

She decided to free herself, dance into the wind, create a new language. And birds fluttered around her, writing ‘yes’ into the sky.

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Get over it.
June 22, 2010

People seem to overreact way to much, i’m not perfect, i have my flaws and troubles of my own.
A lot of people talk to me, tell me things i keep quiet.
But for once.
Just for once.
I want to recognize my problems, i need to recognize my problems.
Because it’s getting to the point, when i can’t even  acknowledge how i am feeling anymore.
Please stop looking for something great in me, because i’m not that great.
I don’t need people quoting things off my blog, telling me that i’m wrong.
Because i know who i am, quite frankly more than you ever will.
I just need to be left alone, i need to stop the ‘cling’.
I cannot and will not handle it.
If i want to talk, i will talk.
Drop it.

Everyday i see the disappointment in your eyes.
And i get this feeling of guilt, but you cannot be my center of attention all the time.
Although you don’t want to admit it, thats what you want out of me.
I am unable to do that, ever.
Be your own person, don’t try and be half of me.
I like people when they are different, i like how they fit in with others with totally different personalities and values.
It intrigues me.
But seeing you trying to be everyone else, that upsets me.
It actually annoys me.
Just stop, stop, and take in your life.
Recognize who you are, and the people around you.
For once, just be yourself.

We are sleeping giants, underground kings.
June 21, 2010

caught in the moment.

B.
June 21, 2010

I am in love.
A better love than before, a real love.
It’s amazing. But i am not vulnerable, i know my rights from wrongs and love will never be used against me.
I stare at you, because i am so indescribably attracted to you.
I touch you all the time because i never want to let you go.
I sook when you walk away because i miss you when you leave.
I smile because it belongs to you.
I kiss you because it makes me feel alive.
I like it when you whisper in my ear, it’s so nice.
I do certain things because i know you love them and i will do anything to make you happy.

Remember on our one month anniversary we were laying on the soccer grounds wrapped up in each others arms, looking at the stars, you were so sick and you told me you loved me to that one star and back again a million times. It was beautiful. That night, i never told you but i went home and cried, because you’ve made my life so perfect.

I talk about our future, i say i want to travel.
You say you want to stay here.
Breaks my heart to think we will ever be apart.
I’m not saying we are going to last forever.
But i just want to live in the moment, and i want you by my side every step of the way.
Because you have stolen my heart, and i love it.

I solemnly swear that i am up to no good.

The notebook

Memoirs.
June 20, 2010

Looking back through my old MySpace comments here are some of my favourites.
Such good memories!

Lucy-
“hey jake”
“hey jake”
“hey jake”
“hey jake”
“WHO ARE YOU!?!?” Tiahne-
Ellie!!!!!!!!!!!
i wrote you name at school in paint today lmao
love you

Molly-
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
**big smilessss*

i love you alot ellie.
so glad i have you yay !!!!
yehh ill be on the bus 🙂

omg jake’s mum got me a lollipop tonight
hehehehehhehehhhehehe

I LOVE YOU BABYYYYYY
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoox

Anonymous-
no ellie.
I LOVE YOU WAY MOREEEEEEEEEEEEE.
=D
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Bree-
hiiii im bree.
lets be friends
you seem cool.
xxxxx

Bryce-
ohhhh my !!!! i havent talked to u fooor sooo long?? how have u been? u look so different lol i was like wtf whos that ……. AHHHHHHHH!!!! its ellie my old bud from primary school. we have to catch up! x

Morgan-
choc fudge brownies.
mongolian lamb.

i must say we are just a little bit good =]
xo.

Ben-
just wanted to let you know that rachel fell UP the stairs, if thats possible,
but shes ok 😀

Grace-
:O
What? dont tell me that bloody ellie brown is in MY top 4?
cant be…

hahaha.
Oh yes. I love my triffy baby,
but not HALF as much as i love my Shmelly 🙂
xxx

Georgia-
* cough elbino smells

hahah hey miss ell =D oh god my first day back, been in the state for about 3 hours go to the super market and who do i just have to see walking the street in the rain shudderrr eww big…….. T ** F hahah ly xxx

Renee-
ellie, i love you
to say you were awesome is an understatement 🙂
x

Sooooo many good memories, obviously a lot are very old!
I miss this..