Timothy, where have you been.

Home videos.

They probably wouldn’t have been any value to any one else but my family.

Tonight I laughed, reminisced, cried, grieved, remembered and rejoiced to my home videos.

Turns out that me and Bradley went to playgroup together, and in one of the home videos he is standing right behind me.
It’s beautiful, kind of like destiny.
I always wonder if we were friends when we were little, if we kissed innocently without knowledge of what it really meant.
Or maybe we hated each other, and I really was the sand pit rat kid like you say I was.

When it quickly changed to a Christmas scene, the first picture was me in the arms of my Popa.
Mum and I sat their in silence, bawling, whilst on the screen I kissed my Popa and told him everything Santa Claus bought me.
“Oh little Ell aren’t you a lucky girl” He looks up to the screen, and it’s kind of like we make eye contact at that second.
Like he is actually in front of me, it is then that I prayed to him.

Dear Popa, I wonder what heavens like? I think about you everyday, I wish you were here to see how happy I am, I wish you could have met Bradley you would have loved him. Please look over me, because right now I need some of your guidance. I love you, and miss you so much.

Home videos, good and somehow painful.


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