Archive for August, 2010

Just the way you are .
August 31, 2010

Am I an over thinker?
Because I seem to think that everyone’s annoying
My family are constantly nagging at me.
And my relationship is going bad.
But is that what is really happening, or am I just getting every problem and turning it into something that isn’t even real.
Like are my friends really annoying me, or is it just that I cannot tolerate people at this moment in time?
Are my family actually trying to help me, push me for my own good?
And is my relationship problems just being blown way out of proportion because of lack of attention?
Fact is, that I really should stop blaming my own negativity on other people and instead stand up and say.
“I’m the one in the wrong.”

  • I’m the one that pushed you away in the first place.
  • I’m the one that took my anger out on my family because I didn’t get the job that I thought I had such a high chance of getting.
  • I’m the one that pick and chooses when I will acknowledge some people.
  • I’m the one that chose to be in this relationship.
  • I’m the one still sitting here making excuses to why everyone is ‘against’ me.
  • I’m the one that does nothing with my life.
  • I’m the one that’s going to get fat because I eat so much junk.
  • I’m the one that is in love.

I am the one that will still always blame everything on everyone else.
Because I am selfish and I have a feeling this quality will be staying with me, for a long time.

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We keep it light in here .
August 30, 2010

I was waiting for the longest time, she said.

I thought you forgot.

It is hard to forget, I said, when there is such an empty space when you are gone

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Yeah, happy 5 months to you too .
August 29, 2010

It makes me so sad that your not even acknowledging this day.
That you can’t even come see me.
Or at least text me this morning.
Instead I had to text you, and you replied ‘;)’
I have that burn in my heart and lump in my throat.
And I’m being selfish and bawling on my mothers birthday, great thanks.
I cannot be put in the dark any more.

I CAN’T DO THIS .
August 29, 2010

If you look inside my heart, you will see how much I cry. You’ll find secrets, promises and lies. But what you will see most is how hard I try to stay strong. When nothing is right, and everything is wrong.

A picture is worth a thousand words .
August 29, 2010

That is all for tonight.
Fair to say perfect weekend though, minus the tears and annoyance.

Sunshine, on a rainy day .
August 27, 2010


August 27, 2010

THINGS TO DO TODAY:

_____________________________

meh, thanks.

Hold me.. I can’t .
August 27, 2010

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Little black cat you have made me smile.
I would like it very much if you were here right now comforting me, Because I can’t find my cat.
I want you.

Tired, too tired to write any more, too tired to wait for you.

You’ll never understand.

You see better when you’re scared .
August 26, 2010

dear secret.

your beautiful, your beautiful, your beautiful.

your loved, loved, loved.
you make me smile, smile, smile,
and you are so strong, strong, strong.

if someone said they believed in me, I wouldn’t believe them either.
Unless that person was you.

Keep smiling ell,
Your too pretty not to..
xx”

Whoever you are, thank you.
You made me feel good, thank you for caring.

Diversion of tragedy .
August 25, 2010

I.DO.NEVER.WANT.KIDS.LIKE.ON.SUPERNANNY.
That would be the worst thing, they drive me mad just watching them.

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Nothings changed.
And I’m starting to think, will it ever?
I miss the spark, I have not seen it in so long.
Once people get what they want, and they feel like they have it, they stop trying to please as much.
You fought so hard for me, why do I not feel that at all any more?

I AM JUST BEING SELFISH AND STUPID.
DISREGARD. DISREGARD. DISREGARD. </3